Funny Holiday Facebook & Twitter posts
Share the holiday cheer! Here are some funny facebook status post that you can use for your facebook status or twitter twats, If you like these or share any, please let me know! Feel free to add @jeanniebastian to it;)
Christmas posts by @jeanniebastian & friends
Wiki leaks: North pole is a hotbed for illegal alien employment. 1,000 of undocumented so called “elves” were detained last week by ICE… On an unrelated matter, toy stores report inventory supplies during last-minute shopping days were at all time low.
@badbanana The NORAD Santa Tracker website is pretty cool. Way cooler than the NORAD Dennis Franz Tracker.
Naughty or nice?
Happy Festivus – For The Rest Of Us! Its that time of year again where we gather around the Aluminum Pole & celebrate this wonderful holiday. Now for the Airing of Grievances. Anyone care to begin?
Ahhh, the holidays… That magical time of year when you can enjoy much needed R&R – rum & red wine!
@badbanana Nothing says “sorry about the mess all those birds made these last four days” like five golden rings.
@badbanana People are like snowflakes. I hate shoveling them off my driveway.
@badbanana I can’t come to your Christmas party because I’m too busy coming up with fake excuses to avoid Christmas parties.
TOTALLY got into the Christmas spirit today. 80 proof. Poured a couple shots of it into our hot cocoa. Ho Ho Ho and a bottle of rum.
My office is doing a secret Santa this year. Since I am self employed and work out of my home office, it’s not much of a secret. I am pretty sure I know who it is. But I shall feign surprise nonetheless.
Christmas wish list – One minion. Thank you in advanced.
@badbanana How about a Home Alone movie where Macaulay Culkin is the dad and he leaves his kids at home because that’s all he knows?
Wiki Leaks: Feds bust under ground secret Santa ring
What? They cancelled the Kardashian Kredit Kard? Guess I have to scratch that off my Xmas wish list. Thanks a lot consumer watch dogs.
@badbanana For Christmas, I got my wife one of those giant bows you see in car commercials. Not sure how to wrap it.
@badbanana Why does the Rudolph special end before we get to see how disappointed the kids are with their misfit toys?
@badbanana The halls can go deck themselves.
Thanksgiving posts by @jeanniebastian & friends
Happy New Years everyone! I figure with everyone rushing past Thanksgiving and on to Christmas, I would go one better and get a jump on New Years. Take that Christmas!
Driving home from Vero beach. Michael must still be in a thanksgiving mood – he keeps offering the bird to fellow motorists.
Today is the one day anniversary of tiger gate. A fun way to celebrate is a suv piñata you try to break open with a golf club. Fill it with ambien and text messages from random hoes for an authentic touch sure to amuse & delight.
@badbanana Love these Cyber Monday bargains. Just bought a sweet JPEG to hang over my couch.
Why don’t they call it something more festive? Like boysenberry plaid or crimson with gold piping Friday…
Thinking about trying one of those Thanksgiving nouveau cuisine fads that’s all the rave, but with a Jacksonville twist. Instead of turduken, how about a festive, yet rustic blend of a turkey, chicken & old fashion road kill surprise. How fun does Tursquirken sound? You are welcome bon appetit magazine.
Plus check out my funny Holiday Quotes and Holiday Images to share with your friends!
Your welcome peeps:) Enjoy! @jeanniebastian